do you see me?
we sat by the ocean’s edge, your bright eyes gleaming in the intimate gaze of twilight. we sat by the edge, watching the waters dance, listening to the waves’ tranquility. a cool breeze ruffled your hair as you absently poked at the sand, unaware of my tentative gaze. you are beautiful, and so is nature, but i never liked the ocean until i saw your eyes.
you began to speak, words that kissed the air between us with every breath you breathed, the way i wanted to kiss you. i listened to every word you spoke, even when you looked away from me and began to speak to the shore instead. you spoke of an experience, the feelings it elicited; i caught a glimpse of sadness in your forlorn eyes.
do you know?
i longed to touch you, and i envied the ocean, for it swept over you like a blanket. i longed to touch your gentle face, to scream at you to look at me. because you don’t. you don’t. we sat by the ocean’s edge until twilight became dusk and dusk became night, speaking all the while of dreams and fears. you said the ocean was relaxing. i thought the same of your voice. the waves lapped up at our feet, licking our toes; you picked up a seashell and gave it to me, and i said that i’d keep it forever. you thought i was joking. i played along. i longed to be the pebble you held in your hand, running your thumb along each of its ridges, staring at it as if it were something you’d never seen before. you were always easily amused. but you were amused by other things, and i was amused by you.
do you see me?
i have memorised all the creases of your face. i know the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh or smile and the inquisitive look that crosses them when you are puzzled. i have memorised all the creases of your face: the way your mouth curves up on one side when you’re amused, or arrogant. i can tell you how serene you become when you are asleep, or how inviting your eyes are, or the way they light up when you see something you love.
i watch your face as if i am seeing it for the first time. and you? you seem to look right through me.